Dear Mrs Smith

Here’s another take on the life.

Your ads are in the papers, leaflets through the doors.

You knock on some doors (get pulled and investigated although not acting illegally: see and the phone doesn’t ring quite enough.

Go back through the diary, like any business would, and see if you can generate some work from previous ‘deeply happy with your work’ clients.

Tell me if I’m wrong.

I got this today.

I should take the knocks and smile.

I do most of the time.

Anyone who has cold-called door to door knows, that is the way.

And if you can cold call and still trust in the kindness of humanity, you are a good person.

And I do, and I am.

So I wrote this and will deliver it……. and never work for the woman again.


Dear Mrs Smith

I thought I would drop you a note.

Sitting outside this evening, idly scratching the dog’s ear (food prepared, served and pots done) you play on my mind.

After a fairly gruelling day, working and then searching for more, I came home.

Put on the washing machine, swept, cleaned, thoughts all the while toward where to find work.

Such is the way of the self-employed.

Raking through the diary, I found about a dozen names that I could call on the telephone just to ask whether, having done satisfactory work, we could help further.

They were all delightful.

You, however, pointed out that while I had done satisfactory work, had called you four months previously.

Well, (I chirruped, cheerfully) just calling…. being pro-active, you know… trying to generate a little business.

Sorry to disturb at five in the afternoon.

You gave me a bit of ‘feedback’ as you called it…. “You are good but don’t call. Frankly, you calling me is off-putting and if you call again I shan’t use you.”

Fancy that.

Two calls in eight months.

I don’t think that many would judge a local, small family business for trying to drum up a bit of trade.

I must have caught you at a difficult moment.

With kind regards.






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