I will always be remembered as a Wife.

“If I should die before my husband please no-one refer to me first as his wife. Perhaps after my name and occupation? (FFS)”.

Thus spake Polly Samson on Twitter and I couldn’t agree more strongly…

I can’t just get away with calling this a ‘generational thing’.

I’m of a generation that fought for equality for the female. I have no excuse and I’m pleased to say that all my daughters and step-daughters are independent and feminist.

It’s just the way my life has gone – it couldn’t be any other way.

This is the post:

Dinosaurs? Roaming free in my neck of the woods!

I woke up this morning amused and appalled in equal measures. Here’s why.

On Twitter yesterday I replied to this tweet

“A senior colleague has praised me publicly saying (twice) he thought my academic papers were so good he’d assumed I was a man.” With… “Oh dear” Another replied….. “The everyday sexism of academic life” Then I said …. “I live a bit of a sheltered life, but I didn’t think there were still Dinosaurs like that  :{ “

Sheltered life? Sheltered life! The truth, and I have to be careful here, is that I live in the Jurassic age.

My daughters, I’m glad to say, are feminists. They look at me with a mixture of compassion and frustration.

This is part of an earlier post, describing my life. 

“Life as a Wife.

What can I tell you. I come from an old fashioned family. My father was the head of our household. The focal point of our day was when Daddy came home from work. My mother was a wife. An indomitable, funny, feisty, kind woman. She did heaps of other stuff, but she was a wife and mother first and a fine cook.

I am a wife. My husband is the head of our household. He comes from an old fashioned family. The focal point of our day is when he gets home from work…. it’s the focal point of my day too, because, now once again, I work for him and drive his lorry. I do a lot more. I’ve said I like to cook, – that is my daily relaxation. The glass of wine that goes with is pretty relaxing too and he’s a good man to feed – like my father – appreciative! I don’t much care for doing the pots in a six be four shed but needs I must. I clean and keep the place pretty ship-shape because I can’t live in a mess. I keep the yard clean and the pets fed. I do the books, because I can read and write. I manage the work diary and the phone because I still have RP and don’t sound like a Gypsy…. “

I take part in the decision making process, but he has the final say.  If he said that tomorrow we were shifting and that I should pack down the trailers; then argue I might, but pack down the trailers I would. Even if I knew we had nowhere to go but the side of a busy road.

He’s an intelligent man, is proud of my knowledge and values opinion; but my identity is, most definitely: ‘Wife’.

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